Showing posts from category: Journal

ENTRY# 2026 – Breaking News!

Overheard: It’s a new product! My Dear Outlanders, I have exciting news to share. As I reported a while back, the humans are conducting a groundbreaking experiment of their very own, using themselves as the proverbial lab rats! Well, listen to this: I’ve been spying and listening in, and I have the first bit of…

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ENTRY #2021: Experimenting on Ourselves

The humans are getting to ready to launch a product and brand of their very own! The Alchemy Lab dedicates its time and energy to growing businesses…but what if a lab rat has an idea of his or her own? Better yet: what if a lab rat finds a way to target the generation of…

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Entry #2017: To Combine or Not to Combine?

Should you always mix elements? I’m writing to you today from a literal hole in the wall…here at the Alchemy lab.  Listening in, but staying out of view. The humans are entertaining again. Many new lab rats are entering, participating in what they call a “Reboot Camp.” Interesting discovery technique. The question keeps arising: “Should…

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ENTRY #2013: Rats can fly?

Did you know rats can fly? Well, let’s be clear here. Not all rats can fly. The Alchemy breed can, exclusively.   Our Lab Rats flew to the land where everything is bigger: Texas. Dallas, to be specific. Rats don’t go to Dallas for leisure. They go to make commercials. Obvi.   Our Lab Rats…

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Entry #2001: Did someone say food fight?

Yet, again. These self-proclaimed “Lab Rats” have outdone themselves. Behold! An app to save your relationship: Food Fight Fix. Apparently humans can never decide where to eat (trust me, this is not a relevant issue in the rat world). This “first-world problem” apparently creates divides between lovers and friends when no one can seem to…

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ENTRY #1993: Choose Your Fortune

Did you catch my latest holiday dispatch? No? Don’t fret. Here’s the scoop: The message involved season’s greetings and the wish of a year of good fortune. Which reminds me… We’ve launched a new fortune telling platform. Fame, wisdom, wealth or magical force is destined to define 2017 for you. Questioning our fortune-telling abilities? How…

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ENTRY #1989: EXPERIMENTAL SUCCESS

Hurrah! We’ve discovered the perfect brand elixir for a century-old landmark! Some old potions mixed with new magic and POOF…brand magic! With a clarified squeaker and digital annex, The Community House is as ready for their next century as Einstein was to present the theory of relativity. You’d better see this for yourself. Only the…

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Entry #1982: INTRUDER ALERT.

I hope this dispatch comes through clearly as I am currently guarding my life in the rafters of the lab. ATTENTION: A beast-like creature has threatened the security of the lab. (Please tell me it’s NOT some sort of rat terrier!!!) I’ve alerted all of my fellow rats and we’ve set our sights on the…

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Entry #1970: More Interlopers

Good gracious! This place is crawling with lab rats! I don’t know what’s going, but the humans seem to be hosting an inordinate amount of outlanders at the lab these days. First, the “open house” a few days back, and now…the environment seems to be teeming with stoppers by and what they call “guests.” Each…

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Journal Entry #1956: The Lab Exposed

It happened. The human “lab rats” exposed our lab to foreign agents. Not only did they expose the lab, but they just opened the doors and let people roam like a bunch of hooligans! I’d like to meet the human that created the concept of an “open house” and give him a few remarks… I…

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